Barbara’s Psychic Mediums

How to deal with grief and loss?

It is often very difficult for us to deal with the death of a loved one. How do the souls that we so miss on earth feel about our sorrow and our grieving process?

This is what Barbara’s Spiritguide Ben wants to say about this subject:

“First, I want to say that we see your grief. We feel and see your joy, but also your tears. We are well aware that a death has a huge impact in someone’s lifetime. Death feels like ‘coming home’ for a deceased person. No one can decide for you how long you need to grieve. You and no one else determines this. The deceased helps to alleviate the grief. Together with the guides. It can be healing if you make a memorial site for yourself somewhere in the house. For example on a cupboard or shelf. That a picture of the deceased is put down with a candle or candles. His or her personal belongings of the deceased can also be added. If you sit down at this place (as often as you want to) and take time to talk to him or her and express your feelings, will help in the grieving process. This is really your time with those you miss. The intention is that you use the moments that you are at that memorial site as grieving process. ‘This is what we mean by “giving the grief a place in your life’. You consciously take time to be able to mourn and you do this as long as you need it.

Do not be burdened to seek professional help if you find yourself in need of this. The deceased do not want you to let life be determined by grief, they want you to go on and again have fun in life. Sometimes people on earth feel guilty when they notice that they have a little bit of fun in life again. They feel guilty towards the deceased. They can even startle at that, because it was assumed that this could never happen again. It seemed so unthinkable.

For us in heaven, it is a very happy moment when we see that someone gets joy and meaning in life. Because that is the intention. The deceased can visit the earth when they want to, they are not in a grieving process, simply put because there is no farewell from their point of view. After all, they can be still visiting the people on earth when they want to. The only thing they said goodbye to is their bodies. They are now at home and experience love and tranquility. They do not feel guilty or sad, so why would you feel guilty if you find yourself slowly but surely coming out of your grieving process and enjoying life again?
 
There is a realization from our world that everyone needs their own time in a grieving process. There is a big difference in this natural grieving process, or how people on earth use a death so that they no longer have to work on themselves, or have to look at themselves. It is difficult to explain to these people that they use a death as a cover for other problems in themselves. It is generally accepted on earth that someone may have a lot of grief after a death, but it should not be used as an excuse to get stuck and stay in a very long victim role. One then places a misplaced responsibility with the deceased (because you are no longer here I can not continue with my life) and that is of course felt and seen by the deceased.

Be grateful for the time you have shared on earth. Know that joyful reunion happens faster than you think. In your heart you are never separated from those whom you love and who no longer walk on earth. ‘

‘They are not in a grieving process, simply because there is no farewell from their point of view’

Many people are curious about what awaits them after they die. How did my guide experience it when he died?

“There were some events that made me deeply happy everytime I died. There was this overwhelming feeling that I came home again. For you it is difficult to imagine, because earth feels like home. That’s how I felt too, until I died. Then you feel that the earth has been a temporary trip. Away from home, to be allowed to learn. The feeling of coming home overtakes you as a deep sense of happiness, which has always been deep in your heart, but then suddenly comes completely to the surface. You have than accomplished a task and can go back to where you really belong. The memory of the Source comes right up again and you understand the big picture. In some lives, when my soul was a bit older, I could have an indefinable sense of homesickness on earth. I could not determine where I could have such a nostalgia. It was homesick for the Source.

In addition, there is the special feeling that you are not your body. At a glance it becomes clear that your body has been nothing more and nothing less than a means of transport, so that you could move and function on earth. In a number of lifetimes I have been pretty limited in my freedom of movement, because my body no longer allowed it. I stubbornly clung to every straw to be able to stretch my life, even if this was at the expense of the quality of my life.

Sometimes I was so afraid to let go, not knowing what would happen to me when I died. It is a strange, but very pleasurable sensation if you suddenly notice after you die that you are no longer bound to that body. You can see, hear, walk, jump and dance again. You are completely free and can do everything again without discomfort or pain. How your voice sounds and the way you talk, what your talents are, your identity without the intervention of ego, that is identical to how you were on earth. That’s you. That is your soul. Your body has nothing to do with this. It serves as an instrument and is superfluous above.

In addition, something else happens after death. Your consciousness is huge. As if all the pieces of a puzzle fall into place. You suddenly understand much more of the concept of ‘life’. You are going to see the big picture. This is of course reinforced if you, together with your guide, will look back on your life. You see the patterns and what was important to you. And you also understand that love has been the most important factor on earth. You can clearly see this in people who, after a near death experience, often radically change their lives and start to live much more consciously from their hearts.”

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